When good friends go bad
This past week I closed the door on a friendship that began my freshman year of college. I’m not going to go into details here because I respect the privacy of the person, but I will say that I don’t actually care too much that it ended. Yes, I’m sad that the other person chose to close the door, but at least now I can move on with life and I think the past few years I’ve stopped caring about the friendship anyways and really, I just needed to say some things to them and move on. If only it were that easy for everyone, but it’s not and another friend of mine is still hurting from that same person.
The whole experience has taught me a lot about friendship, conflict, and resolution. I still have issues in some relationships because the other person can not handle conflict well. I’ve been through my share of fights, ask my husband or my best friend Trina and they will tell you that my relationship with both of them has not been sunshine and daisies the entire time… but whenever we have a fight, we usually resolve the conflict and move on. There is nothing in my friendship with Trina that bothers me, at least not at the moment… we are women after all. :)
The truth about friendship in my life is that I am usually burned by friends. I don’t let people in close for a while and then when I do, I feel so sad and rejected if they don’t stray true. Granted, I know that people are humans and won’t always stay true, but that doesn’t change the face that I will be hurt by them at some point in time. The friends that I find that are true I stick to like glue. heh I fight to keep those friendships and will work for them. Friendship is not just a one-sided street, after all, it takes two to keep one alive and as much as I like some people, I get tired of pursuing all the time.
Ironically, all of this friendship craziness comes days before Trina moves about 30 miles down the road from me, making seeing her a little more difficult than usual. I imagine I will probably only see her once a twice a month now with school/work starting back in schedule and of course, she will no longer be a five minute drive away. However, I am thankful for electronic devices because they allow us to keep in touch whether by e-mail, facebook, twitter, blogs, phone calls, or text messages. With all of these devices, I’m surprised the previously mentioned friendship failed. I guess some people just don’t want to make any effort to keep a long distance relationship alive, even if it’s just a facebook message every so often.
Alright, I’ll get off my soap box for the day. :)
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Tags: friendship, Trina
Yeah, it was very lazy of these person not to use Facebook to contact us when she was contacting her husband through it. They live together for crying out loud! I don't know that I'd say I'm still hurting, I'm mad. And I want to basically rip out the part of me that ever cared about her.
@Trina, Well, at least there is no mystery anymore… we're officially in the "other" category and I say good riddance!
I wish I couldn't identify with the friend situation so much, but truth is, I can. And it hurts. I'm not past that part of it, but I pray every day that it will eventually go away.
@Elizabeth, I think it was easier for me to be past the hurt because I know it's over now. I mean, the past few years have been hard, but now I have closure and can move on. I still think about old friendships though, I can't help it, they were good friends at the time.
I have been burned one too many times, myself. It sucks. It's why I've always been better friends with guys. But now being married that doesn't seem as appropriate!
@Mel, Yes, there is a fine line of friendship with guys and I just don't have any guy friends anymore… haven't since high school actually. Guys definitely have less drama though, but they also don't quite understand women… fully. :)