So, I was listening to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” and decided to look up and watch the music video. You know, the music video that won her an award where Kanye decided to be a douche. Yeah, that one.
This video made me cry (at the library none-the-less) and I started thinking about why.
You see, women are fed a lot of crap by the media. We’re told we should be perfectly skinny, great hair and makeup, and of course, land the man of our dreams.
After watching that video, a little part of my heart cried out for a love like that. Seriously.
Now I am happily married to a great man, but even I still fall victim to these thoughts. You know, the ones when you watch a great romance where the couple are happily ever after in love? Well, when I was done with this music video, I began to remind myself that although they seem all happily ever after in love, that’s where it cuts off. They don’t show the bad moments, the ones where they probably fought a lot about petty little issues.
See, I do have that happily ever after in love with Gray, but it’s not without other issues. That’s just called being a human.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is that it is SO easy to get caught up in a perfect love story that you forget to remember that it’s not real or realistic at all. Yes, you CAN have a great love story, but it’s not going to be without some kind of hurt. We watch these perfect love stories and then feel unsatisfied when our own lives go off rail. “Why can’t my life be like that?” Because it’s not real.
When I look back on 2008, the year I got married, I remember thinking that the entire year just plain sucked. Getting married did not pull me out of a funk that is called trying to find a job in a lousy economy. It did not save me from the fact that I thought marriage would be an easy ride without hardships. OK, so I knew there would be hardships, but it’s like I would forgot about that until I hit a bump.
The point being is that marriage did not make me any happier. It didn’t solve any of my problems. It gave me a lot, that is for sure, because my husband is pretty awesome, but he’s not without faults. I am not without faults.
When I watch movies like Pride and Prejudice I get sucked into all the romance and just wish Gray would be a little more like Mr. Darcy. It’s not fair to Gray at all.
Just some observances from my own marriage and thoughts. I do like a good romance story, but a lot of them are just female porn, making us believe love is a certain perfect way, when it’s not.
