The Sanborns

So, I was listening to Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me” and decided to look up and watch the music video. You know, the music video that won her an award where Kanye decided to be a douche. Yeah, that one.

This video made me cry (at the library none-the-less) and I started thinking about why.

You see, women are fed a lot of crap by the media. We’re told we should be perfectly skinny, great hair and makeup, and of course, land the man of our dreams.

After watching that video, a little part of my heart cried out for a love like that. Seriously.

Now I am happily married to a great man, but even I still fall victim to these thoughts. You know, the ones when you watch a great romance where the couple are happily ever after in love? Well, when I was done with this music video, I began to remind myself that although they seem all happily ever after in love, that’s where it cuts off. They don’t show the bad moments, the ones where they probably fought a lot about petty little issues.

See, I do have that happily ever after in love with Gray, but it’s not without other issues. That’s just called being a human.

I guess what I’m trying to say, is that it is SO easy to get caught up in a perfect love story that you forget to remember that it’s not real or realistic at all. Yes, you CAN have a great love story, but it’s not going to be without some kind of hurt. We watch these perfect love stories and then feel unsatisfied when our own lives go off rail. “Why can’t my life be like that?” Because it’s not real.

When I look back on 2008, the year I got married, I remember thinking that the entire year just plain sucked. Getting married did not pull me out of a funk that is called trying to find a job in a lousy economy. It did not save me from the fact that I thought marriage would be an easy ride without hardships. OK, so I knew there would be hardships, but it’s like I would forgot about that until I hit a bump.

The point being is that marriage did not make me any happier. It didn’t solve any of my problems. It gave me a lot, that is for sure, because my husband is pretty awesome, but he’s not without faults. I am not without faults.

When I watch movies like Pride and Prejudice I get sucked into all the romance and just wish Gray would be a little more like Mr. Darcy. It’s not fair to Gray at all.

Just some observances from my own marriage and thoughts. I do like a good romance story, but a lot of them are just female porn, making us believe love is a certain perfect way, when it’s not.

A year and a half ago I became Mrs. Sanborn. Time has really flown! It’s hard to believe that we first liked each other four years ago this month.

I can’t believe it is October already. I seem to be stubborn in the fact that it is quickly becoming too cold to wear my croc sandals anymore. Me stubborn? hah.

Today Gray and I have been married for one year and five months. It is hard to believe that next month will be a year and a half. Where is the time going?! The second year has already been better than the first year, a pattern I can only hope continues in the future. We’ve got several activities going on this month already. This weekend we will be on the A-Team at church, which helps to set everything up and then takes it down after the service. Next weekend is fall break so we’re going to McEwen for a few days and then to Memphis for a few days. I’m looking forward to the visits. The weekend after that includes a Halloween costume party and the weekend after that is Halloween!

I am actually going to do a few project this weekend, including carving my pumpkin (hopefully) and something deco-rational for our party. If it turns out well, I’ll post pictures.

I took Gray with me to the Rec. Center yesterday. I asked him if he would go running with me and then the rain started so we opted to go inside. He ended up just walking around the track, and I ran about 2.62 miles. I finally mapped out how many laps is 3.1 (5k) miles so I can train in there if I want to. I got the nike+ ipod gadget this past week and it’s great! Of course, I have to calibrate it to the right amount of distance, but it is still useful. THe only thing left for my running gear is a heart-rate monitoring watch. I have one that I want to get and it’s only $50-60.. maybe for Christmas?

Oh! We made a beef stew last night in the crock pot and it was amazing. It came from my S&D magazine so I’ll try to post the recipe the next time I make it… I do believe it will become a staple!

Gray and I thought the day was so beautiful on Saturday that we chose to drive over to the greenway in town and walk . I enjoy walking there, it gives us a chance to check in and discuss plans and the future.

The river was up quite a bit because of all the rain we’ve been getting.

Gray loves the waterfalls

The waterfalls

We actually had engagement pictures taken here, and we were sitting up where the waterfall is currently flowing. At that time it was very low and we were able to sit on a dry creek bed. We were actually here a few weeks ago and could stand where the trees are in the front of the picture.

We were halfway down the greenway in one direction when I decided it would be fun to walk all the way down the greenway to where the tornado came through town. Yeah, that part is only 2 miles down the greenway, a fact I didn’t really think through.

On the way we actually found a turtle on the path.

I had to have a picture with our new friend, "Snappy."

We ended up letting him loose in the river, but not before several people asked about him.

We finally made it over to the area where the tornado went through and once again, I was in awe. I decided not to take pictures, I’m not sure why, but it feels like I’m invading their lives. The area looks like a construction zone, it’s completely bare and you can saw across the river to the homes that were hit.

It was a reminder of how grateful we are of what God has done in our lives and marriage. We’re so thankful to have made it to one year, together.

Well, seeing as today is the one-year anniversary of my wedding, I think I’ll let you readers in on what happened on the big day from my eyes. Here goes nothing..

1. Night before:
Let’s see, the night before, there was, of course, the rehearsal & rehearsal dinner, which were fun, nothing out of the ordinary happened, so far so good. Learned that the candles are a pain in the arse to light correctly, made a mental note of it.
After the rehearsal dinner, went back to the hotel & watched The Godfather with the guys (I’d never seen it until then).

2. Before the Wedding:
Got up & everyone packed up & ready. First stop was Becca’s parents’ place, got dressed & snacked a little. Next stop was the photo op at a family friend’s house. After the photos we went to the church to get ready & wait.

3. The Wedding itself:
Music starts; the men file out behind Britt (the officiant & MTSU Cru director). Mothers & grandparents are seated. Music changes; Becca is led out by her father, she’s been crying (happy tears). Britt starts talking about marriage, I don’t remember a word. Next up, the vows. Britt starts the vows (I mouth “after me, after me, after me”), vows continue (I mouth “after me, after me, after me” again). We then say our “I do”s. Time to light the candles; we both light the middle one, it goes out, repeat. I ask everyone, “Anyone got a lighter?” Everyone laughs. It stays lit after the third try. We walk out & then greet everyone on the outer steps; I meet more of her family (there’s a lot of them). The guests then go into the room where the reception is held, and the wedding party has a few pictures taken.

4. After the Wedding:
Becca and I go into the reception hall & have our first dance as man & wife. I keep leading her backwards and she keeps stepping on her dress. We’re both nervous, but everyone thinks we danced well & we’re cute. We eat, make the rounds greeting everyone once more. Becca and I go get changed to leave. We come out & the truck has been saran wrapped & decorated. There’s balloons & phone books inside the cab (inside joke between my old roommates). I clean out the cab & start the truck; the horn starts with the engine, and Vernon (brother-in-law) cuts the wire causing it. We finally get on our way; 1/2 mile down the road I’m hearing something behind the truck & we pull into a grocery parking lot. There’s (now) empty bottles tied to the trailer hitch. I cut them off & toss them into the bed of the truck. We drive off to Nashville to our hotel.

tl;dr: I got married to the most awesome woman ever. She’s a smart, funny, modest, Godly woman with a great body and I love her bunches.

tl;dr2: Most awesome day ever.

I’m currently sitting at work (I picked up some extra hours), working on ChaCha (my online job that I do every so often).

So I’m making money in two different way at the same time!

Yeah, I’m a little weird.

This weekend has gone by so fast, probably because Gray and I have both worked and that sucks away our time together. Saturday I had the opportunity to go with my sister and parents to look for wedding gowns for my sister. She got engaged about a week ago. After dress shopping we went out to eat at my favorite new joint, Five Guys Burgers and Fries, delish. Later that night I got to hang with Trina for a little while for some much needed girl time.

This morning at church was a good reminder of setting your priorities straight. I tend to push things like God and my marriage aside because I know they will be there. It’s very hard, but I try my best to make God and Gray a priority in my life. Not so easy when you try, but well worth it.

Did I mention I signed up to teach 3 year olds at church? I start next Sunday and I’m beginning to wonder what I’ve gotten myself into, I guess we’ll find out.

Tonight are the Oscars and I will probably be watching them. It’s amazing how we only have ten channels, but can always find something to watch. I’m certainly glad I am not addicted to television, but it’s a nice time to relax.

Tonight we went to Wal-mart to grab a few items and so I could do my sociology homework. I had to find 5 boy toys and 5 girl toys and document them in a paper. I realized that we pay so much more for girl toys and they are all related to “housewife” activities… cooking toys, baby dolls, and dress up. Boys, on the other hand, play with trucks, spy toys, and random anime cards. It’s amazing how different the two groups are marketed at.

On my last random note, we bought sourdough bread tonight to make croutons with Pioneer Woman style… yummy!

Yesterday Gray and I celebrated 9 months of marriage by going to Nashville to see some good friends of mine. We had dinner at Big River in the downtown areas and walked around for a hour.

Tonight we’re going to see a $4 movie at the movie theater on campus, “Quantum of Solace,” which will count as our V-Day shindig. We just don’t care that much about V-Day this year. In fact, I’m making him a cake and he bought me the cheapest heart shaped box of candy, and only because I picked it out. There are bigger things on our mind, like having to fix the car’s brakes again. Ugh.

Pictures from Nashville and a full entry on last night will be up tomorrow, hopefully. Until then, enjoy this picture I grabbed last night.

the AT&T Building aka the Batman Building

So, a lot has been on my mind lately. I can’t share much, because I’m not quite sure of everything. However, I will eventually.

All we have left is a Christmas party on Friday and then Sunday we drive to Memphis. It’s Chile’s first road trip and he bought him a carrier as his Christmas present. We’re actually going to take the truck instead of our car so we can transport his cage and accessories, not to mention all the Christmas presents!

One thing I’ve been thankful for is that our utilities were much cheaper this month. Thanks to high fuel prices in August/September, our electric bill soared the past few months. They charge us a fee that goes up and down based on need. It isn’t fun if it goes up, believe me!

I’m very sad the Titans lost today. It was depressing to get texts telling me we were behind. I was even sadder when I got the final score. They need to play better if they want a chance at the Superbowl!

Gray and I are looking forward to Christmas together as a married couple. We can’t wait to share photos and stories with you all. Weight loss update will probably come tomorrow or Wednesday.

Yesterday we celebrated 7 months of marriage. The main reason I’m blogging about it is because for our six months of marriage we were unable to go out to eat.

Last night we joined Chad and Trina at a restaurant in town, Marina’s Italian and Pizza eatery.

We usually get together with these two once a month to hang out since we don’t all live together anymore. That is, Chad and Gray were roomies & Trina and I were roomies.

Pretty Christmas presents in the window where we sat.

We’ve put up with each other for almost 3 years, but legally, it’s been 7 months.

We exchanged gifts with them. We bought Chad a flash light that fits on his head and Trina got some soap and an ink cartridge (we had one left over from when I gave her my printer). She also has another gift, which I’m making and can’t reveal until it’s done.

Chad and Trina gave us a gift card to a local burger place and I got essence of Twilight body spray and lotion, named after Bella and Alice. I definitely giggled about it and they both smell fantastic!

After eating, we went over to the City Hall courtyard, a few blocks over and walked around, enjoying the Christmas lights.

Right now things are slowing down around here because Gray is done with his finals and work tonight. I think tomorrow he’s playing with some friends from school and then we’ll just be staying at home until it comes time to travel. We do have a Christmas party to go to with our community group, but other than that, it’s just nice to be at home for a while.

Last night was wonderful. Gray and I attended our community group from church and we had a great time.

Our group is reading through Searching for Significance and I have to say, it’s been an eye opener for me. I’m the type of person who struggles with perfectionism. I used to think I didn’t have it bad, but it turns out, I just have a different form of it than others.

The book talks a lot about dealing with failure, something I have a hard time doing, even if it something small. In the book, McGhee talks about how when we fail, sometimes we get angry at ourselves and blame God. I’m definitely guilty of doing this when things don’t go my way or how I think they should. He goes on to say that sometimes God allows circumstances to happen so we can see how Satan blinds us with deception.

I highly recommend the book because it’s been helpful for Gray and I both in learning more about how we work individually and as a team. We’ve also been doing a daily devotional before bed and I think it’s really helping us learn more about each other spiritually.

The weather here has turned cold and of course that means Thanksgiving is near and Christmas is not too far off as well. Last night we talked about how Christmas has changed so much. It’s so commercialized now and many people don’t recognize the true meaning of the Holiday. This year we’re being creative and frugal when it comes to gift giving. Because of all the blogs I read, I’m finding fantastic deals on various items. I love gift giving because I can use what I know about the person to give them a gift they will truly enjoy.

November has been passing by so quickly, probably because I have so much coming up in the next few weeks. There is Twilight this weekend as well as seeing my mother-in-law, Cathy. After that is Thanksgiving, a trip to Opryland to see their Christmas lights, and a few random things thrown around like parties and dinners. I love this time of the year.